Comes as no surprise to discover that a website called TheGiantHamburger sells a do-it-yourself "16-inch giant hamburger kit" for $19.95 plus postage. All you need is 10 pounds of ground beef and one or two friends.
Mention this in passing because Burger King, which has been running a distant third in the burger wars ($1 million per store, compared with $1.9 million for Mickey D), is beefing up its sales with a new 1,000-calorie Quad Stacker. It complements last year's entry in the megaburger sweepstakes, the 1,230-calorie Triple Stacker With Cheese, also from BK. The winner, calorie-wise, is the Double $6 from Carl's Jr., weighing in at 1,530 calories and 111 grams of fat.
The winner, sales wise, is actually In-n-Out, at $2 million per store, but they're a small, region chain by comparison. BK, on the other hand, has three stores north of downtown, two south, and three on the east side. Mickey has 25 locations within 10 miles of the Needle. In case you're still hungry.
But there's hope! Remember the 5-second rule: If you drop something on the floor, no cooties if you pick in 5 seconds. A recent study warned that bacteria actually swarm cookie crumbs on contactm but it turns out, the experiment was rigged; researchers had salted the floor with deadly e.coli bacteria. The very latest study, reported today in Newsday, refutes that with a real-life experiment conducted at a high school cafeteria. No harmful germs arrived for a full minute.
So go ahead, order that Quad Stacker, that Triple With Cheese, that deep-fried BaconMegaCheeseBurger, and don't worry if you happen to drop it on the floor. The staph and strep bugs won't touch it. They know what's going to kill them.