For crying out loud, Dracula, curb your enthusiasm! "This medieval castle is one of the most unique rentals on the market. Dungeons, feastings, daring lovers, sieges, bards, mystery and wonder are grown when stepping into this magical world. An age of bygone kings, magicians, giants, dwarfs, sorceresses, elves and trolls."
The dungeon alone has three bedrooms, a full size Jacuzzi, steam shower and your typical dungeon décor of swords and armor. The main floor has a full restaurant style equipped kitchen, fire place, bathroom and laundry facilities. The main floor has an elegant Victorian charm (with, unfortunately) modern appliances.
The upper floor has a large entertainment center, two more bedrooms and a bathroom.
Plus, if you look out the goddamn windows, you've got a view of apple orchards, buffalo paddocks, Discovery Bay and the Strait of Juan de Fuca.
Honestly, we don't know how Dracula expects anyone will pay two grand a month for this dump. Plus a $2,500 security deposit? For what, the bloodstains? You must be kidding.